beaux désastres

12:34am: so confused man. so confused. =(

10:45pm: today started out great. woke up, ate something then went to metro station to meet up with kirsta and kevin. aien was suppose to be there but guess he didn't go. we took the metro to union station. then we walked to little tokyo. did some window shopping. then went to the arcade and spent 2 hrs? there. it was fun. after that we went into mitsuwa where we each got something to drink. on the way back krista and i bought some japanese snack stuff. yum. then we came home and i went out to eat dinner with my grandpa soon after.

2:18pm: winter formal is coming up. all those pre-dance commotion is starting. "omg who did so one so ask?" "no, sucks i don't have a date yet." "omg he asked me to go!" dude..really now, WHO CARES?! it's just a stupid dance. you go, listen to some over played music, dance like a crazy maniac, and hang out with friends. so what if you don't have a date!? it's not like you wont be living if you don't have a date. sometimes people are just so caught up in what everyone is doing or what is expected to be done. going to a formal you "suppose" to have a date. what if you don't? not like it'll kill you. would your day be totally ruined if you just hang out with your friends? sometimes people are so superficial ...

10:56pm: glen
today was a very emotional day shall we say. winterline practice we were all happy and entered the band room. as usual glen was practicing his music. and i was hungry so i was eating. sarah was talking to jeremy and jessie was doing her hw. glen taught sarah and jessie some basics. steph and i learned our worm up music. then at 7 (which was unusually early to stop) we gathered around for a "talk." little did we know, glen was going to tell us about his resignation. well he is leave pit. since he now has night class in college (senior) and it's close to graduation for him, he doesn't have time to work with us anymore. lana was shocked, so was the rest of us. every seemed ok. sad but alright. then when he began to hug each one of us, i can see people trying to hold back tears (such as myself). lana couldn't help it and began to tear. i was on a verge to cry already and seeing her cry made me even more sad. ::sigh:: couldn't bear the tention we quickly ended and went out seperate ways. he had taught us so much. been so close to every single one of the pitters. it was like a family. now hes leaving, what will pit come to? will there even be one still? winter drumline...not so sure anymore. =( and i was looking forward to working in winter drumline. doing pit and all. made it so much fun. i realli enjoyed pit. can't believe i actually cried in front of other people. what would happen on the good bye assembly? ::sigh::

11:59am: finally update
wow its been long since i've been here. on halloween i got an older brother and an older sister. it's nice to know you have people to depend on. then homecoming was a blast. i had so much fun. it's awesome just going with a bunch of friends, even if i don't have a date. it really didn't matter to me since i don't really care about such things. date no date it's all the same. we only had three band competition this year which sucks. the bus rides were always fun. on the last trip i got to talk to some people who i don't talk to much. which was cool and in a way i got to know them better. john and serena seem to be getting along very nicely. hope they stay for a long time unlike all those high school flings. winterline soon. i hope it'll be just as much fun as band competition or maybe even better.

"sometimes you have to learn to let go.
as long as he's well
i guess that's all that really matters to me."

7:58pm: seems like i don't update on here anymore. xanga is taking over. hehe well homecoming is soon. dance or no dance? i don't know really depends on my mood, whether i have an excuse to go or not. just lost all the zeal for dances. i don't know why. doesn't seem so fun anymore, especially the bigger ones like winter formal and homecoming. can't wait for the picnic though.

p.s. i shall run for key club? and i shall try out for dance again. yeah that sounds good.

4:16pm: olympics
dude..iono why people are so up tight about that stupid gold medal thing. so what if paul hamm doesn't want to give the metal back? if south korea is really that good they'll get that stinkin medal again next time. gosh..all these arguing. olympics is suppose to be n honorable thing. now they made it all so materialistic. made that guy such a thief or something.

1:17am: back!
that plane ride was horrible. got the middle seats. anyways...back in the states. school is starting soon. and i'm kinda tired right now. boo hoo...i wanna go back to hk. its just...too quiet and lonely here. ::sigh:: its happier there.

1:57pm: hong kong
so relaxing here. i don't wanna go back. heh. away from all the problems. get to spend some time with my dear cousins, aunts, uncles, and my dad. its hot and humid here of course. but i still want to stay. been pretty busy lately. had plans every single day. my cousin bonnie is getting married soon, so i'm going to go look at wedding gowns with her tomorrow. so nice to see them together at last. XD life is good. hm...another school year soon. what happened last year seems just yesterday. so young and naive. i guess it's something i can never put away.

1:55pm: stupid link
well yesterday shirley showed me this link to a site where you can dl everything about all the hot korean dramas out there. you can dl the soundtracks also. and i got the link and IT WONT WORK! gr....i want the songs! I WANT THE SONGS! ::ahem:: anyways there are 9 more days left. can't wait to spend some time with...."people" XD I WANT TO GO BACK! sorry but this is suppose to be for my own use, so if you're getting tired of hearing me count down to my trip THAT IS JUS TOO BAD FOR YOU! ::ahem:: anyways i want those laced hand thingy that emi owns. ::envy:: and that yellow and black tank i saw at hot topics. ::sigh:: so expensive. o wellz i'll get my clothes from hk. but i don't think they sell those styles there. T_T its ok...i'll find away around it. XD

10:08pm: hong kong
well there is only 11 more days left until i leave! aren't you all happy that im going to be gone for roughly 3 weeks? enjoy the peace while you can. man i can't wait until i leave this hell of a place. so much i want to do when i get there! well i'll be off to the silk road trip once i get to hk. flojo and my aunt are joining us. isn't that just so awesome. anyways, the trip is around 8 days and i heard there are great food on the trip. o for two nights we'll be stayin over night on the train. hope i don't die from the heat though. then i come back and i want to cut my hair. also to redye it...red? well highlight it red probably. then i want to get a second ears pierce or third on my left ear. XD i hope i get that too. ::fingers crossed:: and i'll be showing flojo around the place. that is if I myself don't get lost. and most of all spend some time with my dearest relatives. and another important thing is to spend time wit my dear old daddy. and of course HAVE SOME FUN while im at it. it's going to be super relaxing, super fun, super lovely, super SUPER! ok im getting so excited to go back. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!! >.

9:37pm: life has never been more confusing than this. well i had but that's not the point. anyone wanna tell me what i should do? ::sigh::

12:20am: pressure
pressure are so annoying. they make you want to quit. they make you feel stupid. it is hard to breathe under pressure. and pressure comes from school!, family, and friends. but for me...mostly school. ::sigh:: HOOOSAAA =P

8:28pm: plz ignore my bs-ing entry. i don't mean a word in there. well i do mean some. the part about friends. =P sorri to those i have unintendedly offensed. my apologies. the day was great today XD like tony said... find joy within yourself. that is when you'll really be happy.

4:35pm: how in the world do people know the site? -_- i wonder if the private thing works...should try using that... this site is just for me bs-ing. don't listen i just got lotsa anger at times... need to steam it off. =P

9:53pm: ax pix
ok... saw his outfit for sunday. MAJOR HOTNESS! emi..he better not be gay. hes just too perfect to be gay! I WANNA GO BACK TO AX and just stare at him man. i have him on my desktop neehehe. so sexy! i rather pay HIM that than guy with the cross. haha lovu lovu! imma start drawing again. i wanna draw. haha

6:50pm: rant
you know...some people are just so selfish. they think the world revolves around them and just because they cry, they'll get what ever they want. they think that they're the only one suffering in this world. those who don't act the way they want are considered "bad people". i am so sick of this. i don't have to take this form you. i don't want to. you don't see me complaining how i cried over things you do. not that i did. because it's pointless. crying doesn't do anything. it just shows how weak you are. i like to avoid things that bother me. so im going to avoid you. this is life. GET OVER IT!

12:37pm: things come and things go. but what happens if they came in the wrong time, wrong place, wrong person? are you suppose to take the chance even if it means you'll hurt someone? or are you suppose to just let it slip by and hold onto your aching heart? why do things always happen at the wrong time for me? or maybe i was just to stupid to notice it when it happened just in time.

7:36pm: =)
hm...after that talk with tony, i feel so much better. man that boy is super optimistic. how does he keep up like that..o.O ax 2moro whoo hoo. AND IMMA GET A T-SHIRT! YOU PEOPLE JUS WATCH. and that means i must sing T_T WUT EVER IT TAKES RITE?

9:41pm: c'est la vie
LIFE MUST GO ON!....hm...(the show much go on ~ moulin rouge) hehe "the most important thing you'll learn in life is to love and be loved in return" i think that what it was. OMG IM SO HOOKED ON THAT MOVIE AGAIN! -_-

9:36pm: haili's mad piano skills
today took the chem chap 1 test. it wasn't that bad after all. i think i did alright. hope the scores agree with what i think. haha starting on chap 2 now and our next test is on thursday. can you believe that? THURSDAY! that is way too soon. so safety ed is just as boring as usual. i read part of emi's psychology book. i looked in the back of course, that's where the interesting stuff are right? well it was about human interaction. quite interesting. but i'm not finished yet. afterwards kahty, haili, jessie, and i walked to jessie's house. haili showed off her mad piano skillz. that girl is just like mozart relived. -_- makes me feel so bad about myself. but its nice hearing her play. so we walked back to school for band practice. and we were late! man and i was so sleepy today, i kept on messing up on my part. not cool. glend (sp?) let us out late...AGAIN. haha walked home. the hill had never been so steep before. T_T i hate walking home. playing piano makes me happy. =) weird. but it's fun! haha

"if you think you can't go on any longer, think about what brought you here to this situation. this way you would remember your purpose of being here."

12:04am: weird....
the weird thing is that when i think of someone a lot/for a long time, that person appears in some way. quite interesting how the univers work. when you don't really mind not haveing it, it is thrown right in your face. when you want it with all your heart, it is taken away harshly. so i guess if you don't ask for more than what you already have, you'll most likely live a happier life. =) so savior your "belongings" and don't wish for somthing impossible. but then again, don't give up on hope and goals. kinda contradicts don't they? hm...how about, be happy with what you have. know your goal, work for it, have hope it'll suceed. kinda like prepare for the worst but hope for the best.

boys are trouble. they're distractions. so for people who are...madly in love with boys. be careful. haha unless you don't care about your future, then there's nothing i can say to that. my goal is to just focus on school. get the grades i am obligated to get. fulfill all the task i am assigned. help a little more, smile a little more and have a sucessful high school career. =) not too much to ask for right?

10:29pm: summer school
Yay, made it through the first day. it was pretty fun i guess. chem was funny. mr. grove is always the best. safety was, o so very boring. so many quizes tomorrow. o and pit is so much fun. i love playing mallets (sp?) so cool. ok got to get studying.

10:58pm: update
well im going back to hk on the 30th i think. coming back around the 20th. i finally made up my mind. after long discussions with many of my friends, i have decided to play clarinet during marching season. =) ok now all i have to do is get my clarinet fixed as soon as possible. ::sigh:: i don't like being a new bee. not fun. =(

1:32pm: yay!
SCHOOL IS OVER! man do i love the freedom and stress free days..until summer school. gr